Sunday, 12 September 2010

Clueless?

Salam blow walker,

Yes today is the 2nd day of Hari Raya which I celebrate it to the fullest with my ever loved relatives, cousins and families. But apart the happiness that lies on top of this celebration, there are also more and more clue that still kept me think and wonder mostly about feeling, yes you might think that I'm just a bunch of guys that think to much into this crap things and I should just have fun and enjoy life. Hey, a person need to take care of his/her own feeling right and to do that, the feeling is in need of a clear answer or a clue so that it will lead the person to somewhere or maybe if the answer is not in favour with the feeling that lies beneath into the heart (I really don't like to rely on my heart because sometimes it can hurt myself more).

For me, to start some thing or in my case re-starting...it will need the support from the related party as a catalyze so that the same thing will not or doesn't happen again which the game of heart is not meant to be play again...the clueless feeling which for me it kind of make me uncomfortable even though it is manageable but still the uneasy feeling is still there and it can't just be ignore that easy...it ain't easy.

More people said that to me that, just enjoy your life and until the time comes, it will come to you...for some reason I strongly agree about that but until when? until I reach the age that people will be eager on bombard me with those typical + silly questions that I don't really feel good to give a good answer, in a funny way I can but for how long? I need a strong and concrete answers. 

Promises and hope, yes that's something popular these days which there a quite number of people `like' to give that to me that sometimes I feel that, "Are those words are genuine?","Should I believe in your words?" and "Are you kidding me?". Words are easy to use which it can motivate people and also de-motivate one who couldn't think twice before putting the hope on those words and yes I has learn to analyse all the words that coming from the mouth of every people that are pour towards me especially people that like to give their hope, please don't play with words as it can give 1001 meanings and ideas to people that in the receiving end.

This is not an entry about a specific matter and I think it is more towards what I feel, what I think, what I have experience, what I believe and what the thing that make me understand. Regardless of all that, more and more questions kept returning to my mind and I can't resist or run from it as it just not the way.

People, please appreciate if you can think more before you use your words (that's also referring to me) as sometimes your words can build up people's hope with genuine one and the rest will just destroy it with a scar that will lie forever. If you choose to give a clue, give a clue that will leads the person to somewhere that has its end or will give the clear picture, if you can't give those so just forget about giving the clue and just say it straight to the person face. Don't play with people's heart it might waste the receiver time and yours as well.

I know some people just do that maybe because of their bad history and what not which they choose to `try' it to other people to show them what it feels to be hurt. But not all of them are like that, that is why I use the word `some' and the rest usually this issue occur because they still feel uncertain or they are facing peer pressure from people around them.

I'm not writing to show that I'm hurt or mat jiwang or the rest of words/title that you can think off, this is the fact that what I observe which some of them I might have use them and now is the time for me to change for me to be a better person.

Nevertheless, what I'm rambling here will not going to change unless the action being taken and I hope I can do that and you people too!

Have a nice productive day ahead! If you reading this, what do you think?

p/s: I'm learning from day to day to understand

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